Blog # 6 How my EGO can put me on a Pedestal October 30, 2018
There is a big difference between desiring and practicing to be my authentic Self and striving to be the image of my EGO.
My EGO image keeps telling me I should always strive to be someone more than what I am right now. It says , “Meranda, you are a yoga and meditation teacher and a spiritual guide. Keep living up to my image of you. You must prove to me daily that you are what I say you are. Do this or I will whip you! I will make you suffer if you fall below my highest image of you. Go out there and get feedback that you are doing your role well, that people are benefitting from your services, that you are fulfilling your purpose on earth. And remember that your purpose in life is to serve me, my IMAGE of YOU!”
Now that’s a tall order to live up to, isn’t it? I will get punished if I falter in the role my EGO gave me. That image is not Whole , Complete and Perfect as I AM. It is limited, narrow, contracted and only a smidgen of who I truly Am. But in not knowing my Whole and Perfect Self, I am left to believe the urging, the pushing and the threats of the EGO image. Being controlled by this monster manipulator, I will strive to put myself on the pedestal so that I get constant feedback on my EGO”s image of me. The EGO wants to be adored. It wants to be confirmed that what it projects out there is exactly what it is. The EGO is insecure. It doesn’t know that it is essentially ‘Essence’. The essence of EGO is Whole Complete and Perfect. But It lives in thin air, it is changing moment to moment, it is vulnerable to the law of changes. It is always disappearing and reappearing. It is built on the fear of disintegration.
My EGO strives to put me on a pedestal so that I don’t disappear, I don’t fade away, I don’t dissolve into thin air. It says I must stay solid, be real in physical form, I must not change. I MUST NOT CHANGE. So if I put myself up on the pedestal externally or internally, there is hope that my image will not change. ‘Up on the Pedestal’ means there is a hopeful confirmation that my image will not change.
What does it mean to practice being my authentic self? It is the opposite of EGO image. It means I am fluid, I am changing and I am perfect in all my changes on the physical form level. I can make mistakes and love myself as Whole Complete and Perfect. Changing on the physical, emotional and mental level does not change the ESSENCE of ME. So I don’t need any external confirmation that I am useful or have a great purpose to show the world. Just being alive is enough for ESSENCE. My Purpose is to know that I am Complete, Whole and Perfect at all times under all conditions. This practicing being my Authentic Self.