Blog #3 October 10, 2018
My Perspective of the Spiritual Student Teacher Relationship
Another Spiritual guru figure falls from the throne of Grace again and again. What are we to believe in when the teacher who espouses the ‘truth’, is caught in immoral behaviors?
Having lived in a cult type situation myself in my early twenties for about 5 years, I understand the psychology of a young mind ‘looking up’ to a teacher. I was hungry for knowledge and truth and a lifestyle of practices to guide me. I wanted a personal teacher.
My parents gave me their best and part of who I am today is because of who they were. But I was a hungry soul for spiritual Truth. I wanted life examples of people who live and act from the enlightened state of consciousness. I wanted to know how to live this state myself.
After I invested my decision to be committed to the teacher, what happened when the teacher does something that brought pain to me? I was confused. I trusted them to bring me ‘Truth’ but I am now experiencing pain. Did I miss some important knowledge of how to remain free under this painful situation? Do I have to dig deeper to get past my pain that arose through their behavior? Are they still ‘perfect’ even though I am experiencing pain? This is the million dollar question that has been the study of my teacher student relationship for decades now.
I started this path to work on myself and to evolve myself. I knew that every experience I have is a reflection of the ‘Truth ‘ that my soul needed. The pain I experience simply showed me I needed to take my dependence, attachment, and expectations off of the external teacher and direct my trust into the wisdom of my own free Higher Self.
The Teachings are very different from the Teacher.
The teachings taught me to watch and observe, before reacting. Take a pause before responding appropriately with wisdom. To the degree I lived and practiced watching and assessing before action or conclusion, I lived that much in the Freedom state. To the degree I believed the teacher was my savior, that much pain I suffered.
I see clearly now that True Freedom comes from my own Self. No one has the ability to ‘give’ me Freedom. No one can ‘save’ me. Teachers are useful. Some did live higher states of awareness than I had at that time. Being in their immediate company helped expose me to greater realms of consciousness and to expand my energy capacity to hold my higher states longer.
Because I had ‘holes’ that needed to be filled, I would want to be with a teacher that I hoped would fill those ‘holes’ for me. I hoped their wisdom would rub off on to me. My work was to discern the ‘contact high’, riding on their elevated state and the difference between how to ride my own evolved state of freedom. This clarity of ability came with further years of watching and practice. I still am working on I am everything that I Am.