Question: I was hanging out with a girl as a friend for awhile and then recently we got together and that felt really good. But one day I saw her with another man behaving the same way she did with me. Seeing them together, really killed me inside. When I confronted her, she reminded me that I accepted her intention to have open relationships. She told me there were a few other guys as well. How do I handle my desire to be with her but the pain of feeling our sacred space is shared with other men feels like betrayal? I feel manipulated and used.
Answer: My guess is that this girl has an overactive 2nd chakra and she is trying to find security through feeling her power to attract men. Most likely she feels her sex appeal is all she’s got to use for her survival. She is desperately disconnected from the Divine. Men do this as well quite frequently. So on that level of operation, you are probably being used. The hook that sneared you is that you felt you also gained something in her company. You both were using each other. It’s a lower level of existence coming from the sense that we need to take from each other in order to survive.
There is another level of relating. And that is first connecting with the Divine with the full understanding that all relationships go well only because you see the other as Divine Energy, Divine Love and as Divine Being. In order to experience this level of relating, it requires a devout intention and practice to always remember you are already Complete, Whole and Perfect is Divine’s Presence. I get that you may have felt it was Divine while connecting to her, but it didn’t sustain because you felt she betrayed you. There is no room for betrayal in the company of the Divine because you don’t invest in people, things and hopes and dreams as quick fixes or substitutes for the Divine. Quick fixes are ego driven. You relate to others as you know yourself as Divine.
Open relationships cannot ultimately succeed. People do experiment with them but there is a high karmic cost. Any couple that tries it will have powerful lessons that burn them out.
My suggestion for you is to cut ties with her as a friend and as an intimate partner until you reconnect with Your Divine. Your pain is coming from attachment to the idea that she made you feel good or gave you something you thought you needed. The truth is you are the only one who makes you feel good and you are the only one who gives you anything. When you are standing strong in that Reality, you can be with anyone and they can do anything and you will not be affected so deeply.